Let Paul Stanley get this off his hairy chest!

Good morning class, Professor Smythen-Wesson here. I want to start today's lesson by saying that my main focus in this course will tend to comprise the roots of heavy metal, leaving the more recent metal to my esteemed colleague Prof. Chop. As such, my first lesson will be on the brilliance of KISS frontman Paul Stanley's stayyyyge banter (!).

Now, whether or not you consider KISS to be early metal or merely a rock and/or roll band, their influence across the world of both metal and rock is unquestionable. Beyond the fire-breathing, the blood spitting, the bombast, the laser shooting guitars and a drummer who likes cats, there is one redeeming quality of KISS that is better than all of the aforementioned schtuff. Paul Stanley and his between-song stage patter. Something missing in today's music scene is the ability to make your audience feel like they are connecting with the band they paid to see. These pathetic excuses for rock stars come on stage, act like they're doing you a favor, say "thanks" at the end of the night and leave. Not Paul.

The best example of this ridiculosity is a bootleg disc credited to Paul called "People, Let Me Get This Off My Chest". 70 tracks of moronic brilliance that some KISS fanatic was patient enough to edit out all the music of a group of KISS shows and leave only the utterings of the Starchild. All Paul, all the time. Among some of these gems is Paul saying a few non-metal things like "yes indeed" and "oh my goodness" but there are also little bits of genius like him referring to his "uzi of ooze". Now, Paul knows how to play a crowd, like asking (before breaking into "Cold Gin") if they in the crowd like to drink "al-co-hol!" but it's kinda tiresome when he continues to ask "can you hear me?" At least he doesn't do the cliched "I can't hear you!", after all the show isn't about you, it's about Paul.

There are a few oddities like him asking "how many of you girls like to get liiiicked?" (before "Lick It Up"), makes sense for a man who claims to run a close second only to bandmate Gene Simmons in the clam department. But to ask "how many of you guys like to get liiiicked?"? That just doesn't seem to refute those pesky rumors that Starchild doesn't frequent the "Ladies Room" with his "Love Gun". But I digress.

The great/creepy thing about a KISS show is that, if you've seen one, you've seen them all. What you hear in KC one night is what they heard the previous night in Des Moines (Kung Fu Tap & Taco! whutwhut). So listening to this bit of verbal hedonism is a shared experience for KISS fans worldwide.

Hit me with a comment if you'd like the link as I can't seem to fully grasp the concept of this interweb google-machine nonsense.